DEATH AND REBIRTH

This season ignites a deep sense of awe, curiosity, and amazement within me, intertwined with a touch of trepidation that resonates on personal, Jewish, and global levels.

PERSONALLY

It was Shabbat Tisha B’Av 5755/1995.

Thirty years ago on Tisha b’Av , I had an accident that changed my life.

I was doing small triathlons at that time and thought it was the best shape of my life. I ran, biked, and swam distances daily. Mysteriously, I fell off my bicycle on mile 49 of a 50-mile ride. Consequently, I suffered a contusion, concussion, and skull fracture. Instantly, my life was put on hold. At that time, I was forced to take time off from work for medical leave.

Was this bad? good? Let’s find out.

I had been deeply involved in the corporate world. I wanted to be a valued and fun, like Mary Tyler Moore, and toss my hat high into the air without a care, like she did.

The pause gave me a chance to consider the path my life was on and try something I never felt I had time to do before. I followed an unexpressed yearning deep in my heart- to enter into the world and methods of Mysticism.

KABBALAH STUDY

Rabbi Jonathan Omer-Man z”l had recently come to Los Angeles to teach Jewish mysticism. Encouraged by my brother Ivan, I decided to enroll in the course. I began my studies by exploring Sefer Yetzirah, alongside the commentary attributed to the Rivaad, under the guidance of Rabbi Jonathan Omer-Man at Metivta. This course profoundly changed my life. Through this learning, I began to cultivate a relationship with the Creator of All and learned to recognize His Presence on Earth.

If it were not for that bicycle accident, I might never have entered into the treasure house of Jewish mysticism and practice. It is hard to imagine my life today without being redirected in this way.

What initially seemed like a life-threatening tragedy turned out to be a life-altering blessing. Over time, my previous life in the corporate world came to an end, and I was reborn into a new way of living. This accident redirected me towards a life filled with Spirit, Community, and Love. My life has truly been transformed.

Death and Rebirth are ongoing themes of this potent season.

Click here for more about the mysterious bicycle incident.

JEWISHLY

TORAH PORTIONS

The energy of upheaval begins before the month of Tammuz and can be seen in the Torah portions read each week. These portions highlight various challenges faced by the people of Israel.

SH’LAH

Sh’lakh recounts the spies returning with adverse reports about the land of Canaan, which leads to the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years.

KORAH

In Korah, there is a rebellion against Moses and God, where Korah and his supporters are swallowed up by the earth.

HUKOT

Hukat includes the people’s complaints about thirst following Miriam’s death. Additionally, Moses strikes the rock twice instead of speaking to it, as God commanded, resulting in his denial of entrance to the Holy Land after leading the people out of slavery and through the desert for 40 years. Aaron also dies in this chapter.

BALAK

In Balak, the king hires a sorcerer to curse the Israelites. A theme of disintegration runs through these Torah portions.

FROM HOLY SPACE TO HOLY TIME

Initially, Judaism was a temple culture. When individuals wanted to encounter God, they would come to the Temple in Jerusalem, offer a sacrifice, and pray. It was THE PLACE where they went to meet God.

When the Temple was destroyed on Tisha b’Av, Jewish life was at risk. Judaism was practiced in the temple. The offering of livestock as sacrifice was the primary way to worship.  It was not clear how to practice Judaism without Temple sacrifices. Yoḥanan ben Zakkai established a yeshiva called Yavneh (we will build) and radically reorganized Jewish practice. Prayers were offered in place of Sacrifices. Rituals and traditions were now reconfigured in manner that paralleled the Temple practices without the needing to access the Temple or animal sacrifice. The primary means of connecting with the Divine was now through prayer and the secrets of time.

It was a huge shift in practice and ritual for the Jewish community. Not everyone agreed with the decisions that were made at that time. What is clear is that rabbinical Judaism stuck and created a means for Jewish life to continue.

GLOBALLY

EARTH LIFE

The solstice has passed. The days are now diminishing. It s still getting hotter, even with the days getting shorter. It is called seasonal lag.

The produce is blooming. Squirrels and birds are seeking food. Sometimes aggressively.
The passing of the solstice reveals a sense of disintegration over time. A dryness permeates the vegetation here in Santa Monica; unwanted plants grow aggressively, taking resources from the produce being grown. Leaves shrivel and turn brown. Mold, insects, and animals damage the food supply.

The birth of the next generation of hungry furry friends and insects has resulted in an abundance of mouths that seek food. They have been enjoying produce-laden greenhouses, eating luscious tomatoes and greens with no interest in sharing. We spent a lot of heart fortifying the produce-laden greenhouses. We must balance vigilance in protecting our harvest and remain kind to animal and plant life.

HEAT

It gets hot this time of year. People tend to get irritable. Rabbi Zalman Schachter Shalomi z” l told a story about Tisha b’Av. He and his community believed that if we had just one Tisha B’Av without incident, Moshiah consciousness would arrive. Just one.

He went to the Western Wall, the Kotel. It was swelteringly hot. There were a lot of people there standing close together. People wanted space and would first nudge others away. Then they got impatient and would shove. Oy, this one did not like the way that one was praying. People started yelling, then rocks were thrown. Sadly, it was not the Tisha b’Av that was hoped for.

NOW

Disintegration is in the air, not only from a seasonal perspective but also in the epoch of this time. This fissure in the sub-structure of community is expanding. Anxiety is on the rise.

People, like Jews, are at odds with one another, as we were just before the destruction of the Temple. Sinat Hinam (free hate) is on increasing.

The EPA launched the biggest deregulation in US history. Environmental protections are being stripped away.

Latino neighbors are walking around in fear of being detained by ICE and locked up. This time it is Latinos. Who will it be next?

Medicaid provides health care to more than 70,000,000 people. People will lose jobs, have fewer services, and care will be delayed, resulting in increased out-of-pocket expenses.

It is a time filled with great trepidation and not knowing. Earth life, humanity, and the Jewish people are going through a paradigm shift. It is impossible to predict how this will end. Just like it was impossible to know that a bicycle accident would lead me to study Kabbalah and become a rabbi, and just like it was impossible to know that when the Temple was destroyed Judaism would morph into a time-based tradition of prayer and ritual. Things can get better; we may not be able to imagine what that will look like at this moment.

t is incumbent upon each of us to do our part, listen carefully – hear one another, help one another, share your opinion, protest when you disagree, and work together to bring the change we want to see.

Kindness goes a long way.

As Reb Zalman said, “The only way to get it together is together.”

Reflection Upon Ordination – January 2007